Heathonist
My book/project is now for sale

What’s up interwebz? For a few months now I’ve been working on a collection of “short stories” if you will. Basically, I trolled the shit out of men on an internet dating site, did my best to traumatize them, and recorded our conversations. 

Bros and hos, I give you Blow Me Cupid : A Tale of Self-Sabotaged Love, Loathing, and Internet Trolling

Now available on Kindle or  Ipad/Nook/misc e-reader devices

Hard copies will be available as soon as I get approval from a printer who won’t ass rape me & my lovely customers. So hopefully within a week. 

Message from “Not Into Kink”  

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I want your Samoa cookies.

 

I want you to suck on my toes.

 

feet are gross

 

so are testicles but men sure love it when chicks put them in their mouths.

it’s like chewing on old shitty gum.

 

not all men. I don’t know what that has to do with me getting Samoas in my mouth. I’ll make you a deal, you give me Samoas and keep your feet away from me, and I won’t ask you to put my testicles in your mouth

 

How about instead I bind you in barbed wire, give you a sandpaper back massage, and then feed you excrement from my cat’s litter box?

 

I’m not into kinky shit.

 

Ok then… I’ll follow you home from work, taser your nads, and drag your unconscious body into a nearby basement. I will then turn on uv lamps while I slowly slice off your skin.

 

still too kinky

 

Fine. I’ll come over and we can spoon on the couch watching The Notebook while I wear a wedding dress.

 

too gay

You’re getting warmer though. I’m sure there’s a middle ground we can find.

 

No deal. Have a nice life.